LAHIRNYA SINGA YANG KIASU

Message which should have been posted long ago…

‘A lot of concerns regarding my last two entries, don’t worry it was a short term thing. Thanks for all of your concerns. And for those who just read it and didn’t give a damn about it… SHAME ON YOU! :P’

I just finished my ‘CORE’ A Levels Preliminary (trials) Exams today. But me and my itchy butt have to go sign up for Chemistry ‘SPECIAL’ paper. So have to study for one more day… Haih… Thank heavens I dropped Maths S Paper ages ago (but kind of regretted it… anyway…)

The past few days were full of ups and downs for me… and the passages below will be concerning fellow Singaporean mates of mine. So dengan izin para pembaca ghettoblaster, saya ingin menggunakan Bahasa Melayu.

Kebelakangan ini saya tidak suka bercakap dengan rakan sekelas aku. Saya memang benci berbincang soalan peperiksaan selepas kertas itu habis. Adalah tidak mengapa jika mereka hanya ‘briefly’ berbincang tentangnya seperti ‘eh susah lah kertas ni’. Tapi rakan sekelas aku lain, selepas setiap kertas INGIN berbincang dengan begitu ‘DEEP’ sampai kami jadi orang yang terakhir untuk keluar dari bilik peperiksaan. Lebih-lebih lagi apabila kami dihalau keluar dan mereka akan meneruskan perbincangan selepas peperiksaan. Ini memang perbuatan yang amat CINA sekali. Ya rakan sekelas saya majoritinya Cina dengan beberapa orang India.

JAMANA! Itulah sebabnya aku pissed dengan mereka dan tidak ingin bersembang dengan mereka. Setiap kali mereka jumpa saya mereka hanya nampak saya sebagai ‘Penerima biasiswa yang hanya tahu baca, baca, baca! Tambahan pula, aku begitu benci akan mereka sampai setiap kali selepas kertas habis aku akan ambil beg aku dan keluar sahaja, tanpa menegur sapa atau menunggu mereka.

Nasib baik bukan semua rakan sekelas saya seperti itu. Thank god for people like Shanta, Roshini etc. Kalau bukan mereka, dah lah kelas 2704 ini. Mereka pun tidak begitu suka berbincang tentang kertas yang baru habis tetapi lebih suka berbincang tentang kertas seterusnya. Two thumbs up untuk kaum India!

Pada pendapat saya, ini adalah hasil Singapura dalam melahirkan pelajar yang begitu kiasu sekali, sampai mereka tidak rela untuk melupakan soalan-soalan yang baru dibuat (untuk sementara) dan focus dalam kertas seterusnya. Dalam kata ekonomik, ini adalah ‘inefficient allocation of resources!’

Note: To those who do not understand Malay, this was not meant for you to read then.

Ok I just realized that I can’t really put my thoughts down when using Malay. Gosh how bad my Malay has become!!?

Back to my studies! Anyone know what is the color of CUCN2?

FUCKED UP

is the phrase that describes me now

My Last Words

It’s 12.30 am on a Tuesday morning. I am writing this right now because I am damn stressed.

In fact, I don’t know why or how I became stressed tonight. This is the first time I feel like screaming at someone for no particular reason. The last time I had this feeling was when I just became the Leo President back in secondary school and I was bombarded with a lot of responsibilities.

Note to self: Buy a punching bag, or else my roommate will be the first victim

Actually, my theory is…

I was happily doing my Chemistry Questions downloaded from the college website. Then all of a sudden Alex came in saying that he wants to copy some music files into his external hard disk. Initially I was happy to stop my work and let him fiddle with my laptop. However, after awhile I got impatient – that’s when my mood changed. I couldn’t do, or I took a long time solving the questions, and people for no good reason constantly visited my room.

Note: This is me talking at 12.30 am, stressed and pissed. Please allow me to blame someone for now. I’m not saying that I don’t like you all to be in my room when I’m doing my work… nor am I saying that you all are bad companions… I’m just not saying anything…

To make matters worse, Chandler came into the room immediately after the transferring of files were done, and started messing with my laptop! I told him what I was doing, and he decided to join in the ‘solving fun hunt’ as well. In addition, he did his solutions on the laptop; not knowing that my mood at that moment was not fast enough to deduce that one mole of MnO4 reacts with 5Fe.

I got very depressed after that, cause I thought that I really don’t know how to do the questions.

He came back later asking me whether I was stressed. I gave him an obvious yes.

And I just forgot that I have Chemistry S Lecture tomorrow, and I haven’t done my work yet… GREAT!!

A few days ago some lady fell eight storeys above at the HDB Flats near my hostel. It was rumoured to be suicide.

“At this point in time, it’s between that or a cigarette.”

"frozen face, eyes locked in place
extinct emotions, heart uneasy
walking through darkness, head held down
watching the ground
zombie in motion, unable to feel
speech is unfathomable
repeated words, cycling in your head
hurt...pain...tears
shadows are now doubled, people are now few
days seem to surrender to night
faces turn to unfamiliar statues
objects somehow alike, yet so very unique
there to unravel tightly weaved plans
of the "happy life", constructed at your making
memories claw your insides to small red shreds
showing no emotion, expression painted on
that smiless stare is the only face
you'll ever wear
the only clue ever to be shown of
how you live your life, quiet in the shadows"

Congrats Boon and Serene!

Today is the last week of Term Three…

It’s a Monday

Two weeks to Prelims/Trials

FUCK I’m so dead.

I just found out that She Ai Ling and Boon Chia Weng are studying in Singapore – Ai Ling in NUS and Boon in NTU. Both were from Subang Utama, and both were from Lick Hung.

(To non-Subang Jaya residents: Subang Utama is a secondary school I used to attend in my town Subang Jaya while Lick Hung is a primary school I attended.)

I found out about Ai Ling when she sent me an email asking me about some camp in Temasek Hall (A hostel block in NUS). I was surprised that she sent me an email about it. So I message Ying Qian (fellow Subang Utama mate in Anderson JC):

‘Hey you remember Ai Ling? Is she studying in NUS or what?’

She replied:

‘Yup! Just got in, and Boon too. He’s in NTU doing engineering I think. And we’re still in JC… haha…’

You got that right Ying Qian.

All this is adding stress to me. It’s amazing how they can get in this year! It means that we will be one year behind them if we do get into NUS or NTU or SMU! And whether I (Ying Qian and Ruo Lin you both sure can get in la) can get into one of these universities or not is another question!

Oh Ruo Lin is another Subang Utama mate in National JC now.

As far as I can recall Boon did his A Levels in Taylors’ College, so my question is: What is the difference between an A Levels cert from my town and an A Levels cert from Singapore? I can still apply for NUS, NTU and SMU right?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them getting in, in fact I can’t wait to bump into them!

But as Robert Frost said:

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference”

Did I choose the right road?

Today is the last week of Term Three…

It’s a Monday

Two weeks to Prelims/Trials

FUCK I’m so dead.

I just found out that She Ai Ling and Boon Chia Weng are studying in Singapore – Ai Ling in NUS and Boon in NTU. Both were from Subang Utama, and both were from Lick Hung.

(To non-Subang Jaya residents: Subang Utama is a secondary school I used to attend in my town Subang Jaya while Lick Hung is a primary school I attended.)

I found out about Ai Ling when she sent me an email asking me about some camp in Temasek Hall (A hostel block in NUS). I was surprised that she sent me an email about it. So I message Ying Qian (fellow Subang Utama mate in Anderson JC):

‘Hey you remember Ai Ling? Is she studying in NUS or what?’

She replied:

‘Yup! Just got in, and Boon too. He’s in NTU doing engineering I think. And we’re still in JC… haha…’

You got that right Ying Qian.

All this is adding stress to me. It’s amazing how they can get in this year! It means that we will be one year behind them if we do get into NUS or NTU or SMU! And whether I (Ying Qian and Ruo Lin you both sure can get in la) can get into one of these universities or not is another question!

Oh Ruo Lin is another Subang Utama mate in National JC now.

As far as I can recall Boon did his A Levels in Taylors’ College, so my question is: What is the difference between an A Levels cert from my town and an A Levels cert from Singapore? I can still apply for NUS, NTU and SMU right?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them getting in, in fact I can’t wait to bump into them!

But as Robert Frost said:

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference”

Did I choose the right road?